


The Name Game

by NeonCrayons



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Donut and Tucker are dicks, Gen, Grif being a dick, M/M, RvB Fluff Week, Simmons is just done with their shit, coffee shop AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-16 01:12:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11243202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeonCrayons/pseuds/NeonCrayons
Summary: First entry for RvB Fluff Week!Prompt: Grimmons Coffee Shop AU Grif keeps giving fake names to Simmons the BaristaCheck out my Tumblr to send a prompt/request! [https://www.tumblr.com/blog/yami-sama]





	The Name Game

Like fucking clockwork. 

Every Tuesday and Friday Simmons would have the same customer come in at lunch time, order the largest, sugar filled diabetes inducing drink on the menu- along with some sort of sugar filled pastry. 

And Simmons had to serve him every time he came in, serving the guy wasn't the problem. No, the problem was that he’d been serving this asshole for seven months now, and in that whole time, this dick had never once given him his real fucking name! 

When he'd first started coming in it has started as names from Battlestar Galactica, then after a while it was whichever pop star was playing on the radio when he'd come in. 

Now though…. Now it was horrific fake names you'd expect to hear in some kind of prank call, if Simmons had to call out one more stupid, obviously fake- slightly offensive name he was going to scream. 

If only to make things worse, he was certain that his two workmates Donut and Tucker were taking bets on when he'd finally lose it, every time his fatass regular came in the two of them seemed to be impossibly busy doing literally anything else, so he had no choice but to be the one to serve him. 

It was Friday afternoon, and just like clockwork there he was, shit - eating grin already in place, and Donut and Tucker were nowhere to be seen. Mentally preparing himself for the madness to come, Simmons put on his Customer Service smile, pretending he wasn't dying on the inside and greets the bane of his existence. 

“Good afternoon, what can i get you today?” his smile was strained and and it took every fiber of his being to make the greeting come out polite. 

“Just my usual with a cherry swirl muffin, thanks Simon.” that was the other thing Simmons hated! The bastard would always mispronounce his name!

Fighting the urge to roll his eyes, Simmons rang up the order, bagged a muffin and began writing out the drink order on the cup “Name?” 

That fucking smirk was back, god did Simmons want to punch that smirk off his face. “Ben Dover” 

This time he did roll his eyes. “Really? Ben Dover, that's the best you've got” even as he said this he wrote the fake name on the cup and headed over to the coffee machine. 

“so I'm having an off day, I'll have a better one next week” he replies leaning on the bench- He's gonna have to clean that now. 

“Or- here's a fancy idea, you could just give me your real name for once” it was a pointless waste of breath, but Simmons couldn't quite help it. 

“Yeah, i could. But where's the fun in that?” after a moment his expression change “Tell you what, I'll tell you my real name. But, you have to do something for me.” 

Simmons new it was a trap, he didn't need to be a genius to know that, but… the temptation was there, he could listen to the proposal, he didn't have to agree to anything. “what do you want?” 

“You to go on a date with me” 

It took everything Simmons had not to laugh as he put the now complete diabetes in liquid form drink down in front of him, a date? Really? That's what he wanted? “Sorry, not gonna happen” 

His irritating usual just picked up his drink and muffin, smirked and walked away, telling him he'd see him next week. 

Rolling his eyes he turned away from the counter to see Donut and Tucker laughing at him. “dude, I'm gonna be telling this story to your grandkids one day” Tucker says between the laughter.  
Simmons just ignores the two of them and goes back to his work. He will not be going on a date with him. He won't.


End file.
